drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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