I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
