I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
