dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
