We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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