please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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