So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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