hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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