i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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