the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
