My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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