do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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