So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
