dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
