the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
