Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
