I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We talked him into tasing himself.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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