I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
