If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
