I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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