God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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