New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
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