Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
