you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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