I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
