I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
