wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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