Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
