My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
