Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
