remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
