jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
