We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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