By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
