Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
