i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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