Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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