There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
