everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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