Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
