it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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