Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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