Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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