I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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