Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
