Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
