New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
