New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
