Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
