So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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