Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
