Sry I called you an 8
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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