Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
