You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
