Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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