Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
