You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
