Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
