they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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