Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
