walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And then he peed in my hair
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