Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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