Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
