matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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