Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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