Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
