She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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