so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
