I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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