I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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