you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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