Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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