why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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