I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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