toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wish I only lived at night.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
