so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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