Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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