So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
