I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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