hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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