Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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